The hidden place

[Rootsie]

The hidden place
the space of shame
and pain
which has no name
no face,
benumbed, dull
and featureless.

A beast rears up
from the cave,
fears of years
furious tears
ancient suspicions confirmed.
You are ruined
and you will always
be left behind, alone.

You dream of the one
who will redeem you
reclaim you
name you
remember you.
And lo the dream is true
but as he reaches
to embrace you
you flee from him too.
It is all you know to do.

You you you.
For this hidden wound
has made you colossally selfish,
and you protect it with every tool
available to you.
But now you see you are protecting it
against its only possible redemption.

Because you are numb
you do not realize
you have been lifted beyond it
to a place in which
it has no power
to hold you.
Patience, child.
Let the truth work in you.
Truly, you can show this shame to him.
He knows what to do.

But he can’t without you.
This healing requires your presence
and your courage.
It is you who must choose to surrender.
You who must ask.
And know with certainty
that it is possible
to lay down your arms and come
even crawling on your knees
into the light.

Strange that you fight so hard to hold on
that you would fear paradise
and view it as a sacrifice.
Your stomach in a  twist,
resist, resist, resist.

Is it habitual,
comfortable,
this agony
the only home
you have ever known?

Your throat is tight with thirst
as the living water rushes
through you!
Crouched in darkness
as the light in-forms you!

Well little one,
what would you do?
It is time to embrace
your magnitude.