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How I Benefit From White Privilege |
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By Laura Douglas
Date: March 24, 2001
As a white woman who's been thinking about how I
benefit from white privilege, I see that so much of it
consists not only of what I do get to feel and
experience but of what I am privileged not to have to
think about or experience.
For example, it looks to me as though a cornerstone of
white privilege is simply not having to think about
race, not having to think about my color and how
people are going to respond to me because of it. Given
my living circumstances, I could easily go through an
entire day and have absolutely nothing to remind me
that the subject of racism exists--even though I may
walk past several Latinos on my way to work, buy a
paper from an Asian man, and talk to the Black teller
as I make a deposit at the bank. To come in contact
with persons of color is not the same as being aware
that racism is still a raging problem in this country.
The ball is in my court about whether I'm going to
think about it or not, how much I'm going to think
about it, etc.
A person of color does not have this choice. To live
and to function in this society is to be forced to
think about race and racism whether one wants to or
not.
In this article, I've attempted to write as deeply as
I could about white privilege as I specifically
experience and benefit from it. This is not about all
white people, or even all white women, because I
believe there are important differences based on our
individual personalities and how we tend to interact
with other people, our size, how we look, what our
living circumstances are, including how isolated in
white surroundings we are, etc. (This is also going to
be rather revealing about me as a person, which I feel
a little embarrassed about, but I don't know how to do
this any other way!) So here is what I've seen so far:
1. I go through life pretty much expecting that of
course people are going to like me--at least not
dislike or reject me--unless I do something which
causes them to be against me. This is the opposite of
what too often people of color have to go through:
they have to operate on the basis that someone may
automatically be against them because of their
ethnicity unless they can prove they are OK--not like
the rest of "them".
2. I can go around being my gregarious, outgoing
self,
smiling at people, talking to strangers, and find that
my friendly overtures are usually welcomed. I go
through life feeling free to pretty much do as I
please in a relaxed way, a white woman in a white
world--even when there are persons of other
ethnicities around. I don't feel I have to "watch
myself" to make sure I don't behave in a way that may
offend someone. I don't have to reign myself in
because people are probably going to feel suspiciously
"What's she up to; why is she so friendly?" or
resentfully "She sure is uppity; who does she think
she is, just taking it upon herself to start talking
to me like that?"
3. Related to this, I can go just about anywhere I
need to and feel that of course my presence there will
be looked on with favor and I'll be welcome. I don't
have to feel that people are merely tolerating my
existence in their midst, that they'd prefer I weren't
there among them.
4. I expect to be dealt with respectfully by
strangers. When I'm treated in a way that,
unfortunately, most persons of color, no matter who
they are, have to be prepared to be treated at one
time or another--some fairly frequently--I'm usually
quite surprised and outraged.
5. If another member of the dominant society does
treat me disrespectfully--including treating me like I
don't exist--I don't have to go through the emotional
wear and tear of trying to figure out whether there
was a racist element to it or not. I know it was about
me directly, or that this must be how they tend to
treat all people, or that they're having a bad day as
such. Whatever it's about, it isn't about my color.
6. I have the luxury of living all my life in the
dominant society where the accepted norms are what I
grew up with, am familiar with from birth, so they all
come naturally to me and I can fall into them as
easily as breathing.
7. Even though I am no more intelligent than most
persons of color--and am sure I'm less intelligent
than many--to another white person I may sound more
intelligent because my normal speech patterns are the
patterns of the dominant society. I speak in a way
that is associated with intelligence. My entire life
I've had the "advantage" of hearing all around me the
accepted way of speaking which gets one ahead in this
world and, therefore, it is my natural way of talking.
(And in as much as I also picked up aspects of a deep
Southern accent from an African American woman who
took care of me from when I was a few months old, I
was also re-trained not to speak like her, but to
speak the way all the white people around me did. I
was put into speech classes in the second grade to try
to erase all traces of that accent.)
8. People expect me to be well-spoken, and they take
it in stride if I express myself fluently. I don't
have to hear someone say with surprise, "My goodness,
how articulate you are!" The same with my writing:
when a person says they like something I wrote, it
isn't accompanied by amazement that I was capable of
such a thing.
9. As to school, I went through the educational
system
being taught by teachers who expected me to do well,
and who pushed me to do even better. I never felt a
teacher had written me off as a waste of time, or
believed I wasn't really going to go anywhere with my
education anyway so why bother with me. I always felt
they assumed I would attend college.
10. I never face the awkward situation of being the
director of the department who, because of my skin
color, is mistaken for the secretary, or of being the
professor at the university who is assumed to be the
teaching assistant--or any number of other such
predicaments. I don't have to deal with the question
of how to work out my own emotions about that, or
figure out how to behave so that the person who made
the mistake isn't so embarrassed that it impedes what
we need to accomplish together.
11. When I'm going to be meeting people for the first
time, socially or as to work, I'm never worried about
how they're going to take it when they see I'm white.
I don't have to be in situations, like on the phone,
where I wonder if the person I'm talking to knows my
color and what will be their response if and when they
realize I'm white; will they treat me differently and
with less respect?
12. I go home at night to a world that is essentially
the same world I work in. I don't have to know how to
get along both in my own sub-culture and in the
dominant culture at the same time. I don't have to
constantly figure out how to negotiate the two and the
going back and forth between them.
13. If I want, I can pretty much live my life among
other white people. Though I can chose to do so if I
want, I am not forced, in order to make a living and
to buy the things I need, to be in situations where
just about everyone there is of a different ethnicity,
culture or nationality than I am, situations where I
feel I stick out like a soar thumb because of my
color.
14. I can say "our country" and not "this country". I
have felt my whole life that this is my country, and
it never even occurred to me that anyone born here
could feel differently, feel that they're what amounts
to a foreigner living in a country that's not really
theirs, even though they're called citizens. Because
I've never had to experience it, I don't think I can
even grasp the feeling people of color had being
disenfranchised in the last election. I have the basic
idea, but this still doesn't mean I really know the
feeling.
15. When I decide how to style my hair, what clothing
I want to wear, I don't have to try to play down the
essence of what I am to try to get along and advance
in the dominant society. I've never had the problem of
"I'd better not look too Eurocentric or I might not be
able to keep my job!"
16. I can dress poorly, look like hell and not have to
worry that I'll be mistaken for a derelict or a
criminal. In the fairly affluent neighborhood where my
husband and I live, I occasionally go out to take care
of some errand with my hair a mess (we're talking
major bad hair day), no make up, wearing something
really lousy, and I still don't have to be concerned
that people will take me for a homeless person and try
to give me a money or food.
17. I also know that my facial features, my type of
hair, the shape of my body parts are pretty much this
society's accepted standard, seen as reasonably
attractive by most people. I have never felt even
briefly, let alone as a constant thing in life, that
my features, hair, and some body characteristics are
seen by their very nature as ugly because of their
European quality.
18. I can blend in, get lost in the crowd so to speak,
when I want to because I have a face and body type
that are, on the whole, fairly similar to most others
around me. I can also stand out when I want to. If I
need to assert myself about something, lodge a
complaint and get some attention from a store manager,
for instance, I don't have to go through the
humiliating ordeal of being sloughed off and ignored,
made invisible in some way.
19. There aren't a lot of negative stereotypes of
others of my ethnicity which I have to constantly
contend with, and that might stand in the way of a
person seeing me for who I am. Though certainly there
are negative gender stereotypes about women, such as
that we all get PMS, are not so good at math or
science, etc., these things are nowhere near what
persons of color have to endure. I don't have to be
worried about people assuming I'm stupid, low class,
over-sexed, and so forth because that's what "they"
think "we" all are.
20. As a white woman, I can exhibit some of the
characteristics that have been made into stereotypes
about persons of color and no one thinks anything in
particular of it, good or bad! For example, in a
restaurant/bar full of white people I can laugh and
carry on in a fairly rowdy manner with other whites
without customers at other tables getting offended and
thinking we're loud and uncouth because of our race. I
can also get out on the dance floor and, because I
studied dance, express myself well in time to the
music, and no one thinks "She's Black so she's got
rhythm; they all do."
21. At a job interview, I don't have to go through the
excruciating "damned if you do and damned if you
don't" situation where I have to try not to appear
stupid or incompetent in any way (knowing every moment
that they are ready to pounce on and magnify the
tiniest slip)--while also trying to make sure not to
appear too smart, as smart as the interviewer, because
then they could be angry and resentful and not hire me
either since they had expected to be able to feel
superior to me!
22. Speaking of job interviews, when I write on an
application form that I've never been arrested or
incarcerated, of course they never question that--in
fact, I can only imagine how shocked they'd be if I
did write yes to either! I've never experienced what
I've heard described by African American men: the
awful realization that the interviewer doesn't believe
you so they keep bringing the discussion back to it to
try to get you to admit you were lying and that you
really do have a record.
23. As to arrests and the lack thereof, to put it
bluntly, the only reason I don't have a record is the
color of my skin. In my late teens I had a serious
drug problem, and I both consumed and sold controlled
substances of many kinds. All over this country there
are persons of color who are doing 30 years and more
for what I did and walked away Scot free. Among other
things, this means that when I stopped using drugs I
truly was able to leave my past behind and start
afresh. I was not faced, for the rest of my life, with
the grueling task of figuring out how in hell I would
ever be able to live down my former mistakes and go on
to earn an adequate, ethical living with my record
dragging me down at every turn.
24. In general I go through my life operating on the
basic premise that people are going to trust me, not
that on the slightest provocation--or even no
provocation--they will be suspicious of me. I am very
aware that because of how I look--my skin color being
a major aspect of that, along with the fact I'm female
and fairly petite--I can go places and get away with
doing things that even a white male can't because I
appear so unthreatening.
A. For example, when I climbed over a garden fence to
use a building's garden hose to water a dying tree on
the street, I was consciously thinking "I can do this
because I'm white and a woman and no one is going to
question me"--and they didn't.
B. In stores where you aren't supposed to try clothes
on over your own, I know I can get away with it (and
do) because I'm white and look very middle class. I
can expect the people working there to look the other
way, whereas I'm not sure they would if I were a woman
of color.
C. There are all kinds of things I know I can get
away
with because I'm white, like many years ago I used to
eat cookies from open cookie packages at the
supermarket. I knew I wasn't going to be accused--and
I never was, not even once--of opening the package
myself. I can shop and do things in a somewhat
irregular fashion and not be suspected of shoplifting
which, as we all know, is certainly not the case with
persons of color.
D. When I'm out on the street and need a bathroom,
I'm
very conscious of my white privilege. I have literally
said to myself "I am now going to exercise my white
privilege" as I enter a restaurant and purposely give
forth the impression that of course I'm there as a
customer so no one should question me as I simply head
for the bathroom and that's that!
E. I can walk up to persons on the street and ask for
directions without their feeling suspicious that maybe
I have an ulterior motive. I am ashamed to say that
this can still, at times, be my first gut-reaction
when a woman who is not white and speaks with an
accent comes up to me and shows me a piece of paper
with an address which she asks me to help her find.
Though this has never been the case, I can still be
afraid that while I'm trying to read what's on the
paper or looking around for a street number, she might
pick my pocket or something. The very attitude that I
can still occasionally have in meeting another woman,
I don't worry about being met with myself.
F. I can approach people unexpectedly from behind, be
practically on top of them in a tiny building
entrance, or at the last moment jump into an elevator
with them and not have to read fear in their eyes when
they see me. Even if someone's first split-second
response when I suddenly appear is fear, as soon as it
registers that it's me they relax; I have never seen a
person grow more frightened--just as I've never had
anything even remotely resembling the experience of
observing a woman clutch her purse closer as she sees
me coming towards her.
25. If anything happens to me on the street--if I were
to become ill or trip and fall down, for example--I
can be relatively sure that the people around me will
try to help. They won't feel that maybe there is
something wrong with me, that I'm on drugs or drunk or
up to no good and they should keep their distance.
Just in general, I can go through my life expecting to
be taken seriously and for people to be cooperative
and helpful.
26. I also live in relative sureness about the safety
of my husband. I don't have to worry that he might
stop to make a phone call in the "wrong" neighborhood
and get attacked as some African American men have
been, by a gang of whites, or that he may be mistaken
for someone else and beaten or killed by the police
since, after all, "they all look alike."
27. Recently, when my husband and I had a
miscommunication and he still wasn't home by 1:00 AM
on a week-night when he was usually home by 9:00 PM, I
got so worried I called a police precinct. Even as I
was grateful for their courteousness, I was aware that
they may have been so nice because I sounded white and
well educated. I have my doubts about whether I would
have been met so patiently and helpfully if I had
sounded clearly other than white or spoke with an
accent.
28. I can call the police with little fear that I may
end up being their victim.
29. I can easily access basic news about things of
particular interest to me and my community. I don't
have to find special avenues to get information about
the things of specific relevance to my people because
the mainstream press and media either don't report on
them or report on them from a flagrantly biased slant.
30. Until recent years, I went around with the
self-assured feeling that pretty much all of what is
considered the important art of the world--what is
taught as the great literature, paintings, music,
etc.--are by and about people who were a lot like me.
I read my favorite novelists such as Henry James,
Balzac, and Dickens, and didn't even notice that
practically every character was white, and that they
were about a way of life that was familiar to me but
that may not have been so familiar to persons of
another culture.
31. Without realizing it, I went through my life with
the feeling that essentially I was looking "them" over
and deciding whether to let persons of color into my
life. It never occurred to me that maybe I should be
thinking about how I was going to prove I deserved to
be let into their lives! I expected that if I decided
to have to do with them, of course they should be very
happy about that and welcoming.
32. My sense of white privilege also extended beyond
myself to other white people. For instance, I used to
think that African American persons weren't nearly
grateful enough to the white people who came down
South and fought along side them during the civil
rights movement. I felt that of course Black persons
should have been nothing but grateful and I didn't ask
whether there might be more to it than meets the eye.
Because all of us human beings can be prone to
ingratitude, there likely is some kernel of truth to
this criticism of African Americans; however, I see
now that there is also a great deal to question about
how we white persons work with Black persons. There
can be such a tangle of good and bad motives as we do
some useful things but with such a paternalistic
and/or patronizing attitude that it is very difficult
for a Black person to make sense of where they should
be grateful and also rightly critical.
33. I'm ashamed that up until a few years ago I still
felt that many Black persons were too sensitive about
racism; that they sensed slights where there weren't
any. What this means is that in my white omniscience
(read colossal white arrogance!) I knew even better
than a person of color what a racist incident was and
wasn't. Boy was I wrong about that!
So these are my findings so far. I'm sure there is
even more to see, and I plan to keep on looking at the
subject.
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